Family Law Blog

The State Bar of Michigan regulates the practice of law and protects the public.  Representing more than 40,000 lawyers, the State Bar regulates the practice and licensure of lawyers and the functioning of the courts, while devoting substantial resources to insuring access to justice for all and broad diversity within the profession.

The transition from one household and one family unit to two households and two family units can be difficult – especially after a contentious divorce.  For months, the energy has focused on ending a relationship.  Then, all of the sudden, you are expected to perfectly transition to beginning a new relationship.  The emotions and physical changes are stressful, and how these changes are initially dealt with can have lifelong impacts on you and your children.  Here are some tips to help ensure that the transition is a smooth one –

Many clients come to my office, not having worked with a therapist. There is a striking difference between the two groups. Those who have not worked with a therapist often carry their emotions very close to the surface, since they have not had a chance to really analyze the emotional impact the divorce will have on their families and themselves. I generally urge them to work with a therapist before they decide whether to divorce.

Good attorneys want to help people and provide quality services. They want to concentrate on providing legal services; not collecting their fees. If clients run up large fees and find they are unable to pay for the services, it benefits no one. Both the client and the attorney will feel frustrated. This will get in the way of getting effective representation.

Example: Wife wants to keep the house that has an equity value of $100,000.00. Husband wants to keep his retirement that has a value according to the retirement administrator of $100,000.00. They agree that each will keep the asset he/she wants and they will consider it an even division. Is it?

Money or lack thereof is one of the biggest stressors in marriage. It is also a huge stressor when people consider divorce. And for good reason. Many families find it hard to make ends meet when the couple lives together and all the income is applied to supporting one home. When the couple divorces, there are two homes to support with the same amount of income.

What to do? Be candid with the professional whom you are consulting. If it's a lawyer, bring your financial records to the first appointment. These include a couple of years of income tax returns, including W-2's, 1099's and all schedules and a list of debts and assets. For the debts, actually list the credit cards debt and the interest rate that each account is charging. If you have a home equity loan on your house, record the interest rate for that as well as the mortgage. Bring your property tax statement and recent pay stubs for both spouses, if they are available. Recent retirement account statements are also helpful.

Clients often complain that trying to pin down a property settlement when the market is fluctuating wildly, as it has recently, is impossible.  You are working with constantly changing balances.  This has been especially frustrating when the market changes by the hour; not just the day.

Many parents, often the dad, want advice on whether to keep the peace and accept the parenting schedule or the child custody arrangement that the other parent, often the mom, wants or risk that parent’s anger.  There may have been some “bad behavior” on the part of the one parent that led to the divorce or separation that is fueling the other parent’s wish to be principally in change of the child.  What to do?

Both parents need to understand that the custody or parenting time agreement that is in the judgment (divorce or paternity) will establish a standard for the court.  Changing the arrangement for either or both will require a significant change in circumstances and a high level of proof.  In Michigan, the court must determine whether the significant change in circumstances was foreseeable or a natural outcome of foreseeable circumstances (such as the child becoming older).  If the change was foreseeable, the court may not consider the change significant.

In Michigan, the divorce court has jurisdiction over children until they turn 18 years or graduate from high school, whichever occurs later.  What about funding their college education?

Whether parents divorce or not, they are not legally obligated to pay for their children’s college education.  Doing so is purely voluntary.  However, as part of a divorce, when the trust between parents may not be high, they can agree to: