Clients are partners in successful settlements

There is another wiki article available on our website about wise ways to select good attorneys for your family matter which I recommend you read. See <>. A team-playing lawyer will not take over the entire process, but rather will listen to your story, give you advice, review your budget work, create an excel spreadsheet of your budget and your assets and debts, run sample support guideline scenarios, and generally brainstorm with you likely outcomes and strategies for a successful negotiation.

This is VERY different from an attorney who offers a free consultation, let's you talk for 20 minutes about your no good, very bad spouse, and then says, "I will take care of you." Attorneys who oversell their abilities to give you exactly what you THINK you want at the outset of a very upsetting process generally have to back up later, at your expense. It is far better to have a realistic assessment of the likely outcomes, a plan for preserving as much parental connection as is feasible, and guidance on how to accomplish a successful transition to separate households. Even the selection of the process by which you create a settlement can have an impact on the long term post-divorce environment. Consider, for example, how likely you are to want to consult your former spouse about challenges facing your child if you have come through a bruising negotiation (or, Heaven forbid, a trial!) versus having been guided through a mediation or negotiation with an eye toward such future decisions?

Negotiation about your family and its finances and assets is hard work, perhaps the hardest work you will ever do. Mediation is no different. It may seem, therefore, that it might be preferable to let your lawyer do the work and the talking for you. However, most people are better served by being integrally involved in the preparation for and in the actual process of negotiations.

At Nichols, Sacks, Slank, Sendelbach & Buiteweg, we have all seen clients who have come to us after the damage is done, after a settlement is signed or a judgment entered. Not having a full participatory voice in the process of settling your divorce can lead to a long period of misery! Don't let that be your outcome.